deep in the ocean, there lies a wave for you

First of all, Sam and Dean are both pretty dreamy.
Here is the plot summary:
The show follows brothers Sam and Dean Winchester, who travel across the country in a black 1967 Chevy Impala investigating and combating paranormal events and other unexplained occurrences, many of them based on American urban legends and folklore as well as classic supernatural creatures such as vampires, werewolves and ghosts.
Shut it. The show is interesting. Some of them are actually scary (read: the bloody Mary episode). They have to SOLVE THE MYSTERIES. YOU SOLVE ALONG WITH THEM. THEY KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT SPIRITS AND DEMONS AND WITCHES AND MONSTERS.
Ellie read the back of the Season 1 DVD to me in a mocking tone.
“THE CREEPY. THE DEMENTED. THE UNEXPLAINED. The UNEARTHLY. Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki) grew up hunting such terrifying things. But that’s all in the past. Law school beckons him. So do safety and normalcy. That is, until Sam’s estranged brother Dean (Jensen Ackles) appears with troubling news: their father, a man who’s been hunting evil for 22 years, has disappeared. So now, to find him, the brothers must hunt what their father hunts … and Sam must return to the life he thought he left behind.”
So what if Jared and Jensen’s previous acting experience includes:
‘Smallville’
‘Dawson’s Creek’
‘Dark Angel’
‘Gilmore Girls’
‘NEW YORK MINUTE’ (featuring the Olsen twins)
and ‘Cheaper by the Dozen’?

IT’S A GOOD SHOW.

Tags: supernatural

So, in the today’s delicious edition of my hometown pape, the Pottsville Republican (charming name, eh?), there was a cheesy piece titled “Some find ‘different’ way to pop the question.” I’m unsure as to why they needed to put ‘different’ in quotes, but read on! Also, remember that this is the paper that puts the winner of the pierogie-eating contest on the front cover.

The lead: “Do you think lawyers never act impulsively? Think again.”
Then it goes on to tote the charming and crazy antics of some d-bag Yuengling-fed attorneys and how they tricked some NEPA socialities into marrying them.

When you get to the middle of the story, however, THIS DELIGHTFUL GEM APPEARS:
“The marriage bid of mortgage consultant Guy ‘Bill’ Bryan, Orwigsburg, to Patricia ‘Trish’ Lantry was even more complex.

His proposal entailed hiring an advertising company to release a parachute from the deck of a boat while he and Trish were on a dolphin cruise aboard a nearby ship. Timing was critical. The advertising boat had to be in the vicinity of the cruise ship at just the right moment to launch the parachute, from whose cord flew a banner bearing the message, ’1 if by land, 2 if by sea, Trish, will you marry me?’

The boat and the cruise ship approached each other at the appointed time, but by then the sky had darkened, fog had rolled in and a hard rain had begun to fall. Bill began to give up hope Trish would even see the proposal when the skies cleared for a short time. He fell to his knees as she read the message on the banner and extended the engagement ring. Crew and passengers extended their best wishes after she accepted the proposal.”

Also, it’s ‘Triz,’ not ‘Trish.’ Grandma Bryan is going to be so confused.

Me: “Zack, do you want to see the cutest thing ever?”
Zack: *puts leg up on the arm of my chair so that my face is directly in his crotch*
Zack: “You know, we better stop this, or one of us is going to get fired for sexual harrassment.”
Me: “Yeah, we’re really straddling that line.”
Zack: “Actually, I’ll get fired for doing it and you’ll get fired for asking for it. LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT ON WEDNESDAY, JULY 25, REBECCA ARMENDARIZ WAS WEARING A VERY LOW-CUT TOP.”

Haven’t you heard? I love the gays.

My friend alerted me to this delicious nugget of joy, courtesy of the New Albany school district in Ohio.

Hip Hop Math-A-Thon Showcases Students’ Math Skills and Adds Books to School Libraries
Math-A-Thon is an academic fundraiser that allows all students in Grades K-5 the opportunity to show off their math skills and earn pledges for their school at the same time. Teachers and students are teaming up to kick off this year’s Math-A-Thon through a fun school video production.

During the week of February 19th, all K-5 students will be asked to solve math problems appropriate for their grade level. Students will have one hour during their regularly scheduled math time in class to solve as many problems as they can. Math-A-Thon proceeds will be used to purchase books and reading-related resource materials for each classroom and building library in Grades K-5.

Aw, how sweet, right? Except for the fact that these sickeningly vanilla students are raising money for, well, themselves. But at least the activity is academic and the kids aren’t competing for like, a pizza party. And the hip-hop theme? Sure, maybe, since that’s what the kids are listening to these days, it’ll encourage them to really up their performance.

But the plot thickens with the accompanying photo:

After my initial reaction of nonstop laughing, I have decided that this straddles the line between horrifying and overwhelmingly hilarious.
First, a definition of hip-hop:
Hip Hop (also spelled hip-hop or hiphop) is both a music genre and a cultural movement developed in New York starting in the 1970s, predominantly by African Americans and Latinos. Since first emerging in New York City in the 1970s, hip hop has grown to encompass an entire lifestyle that consistently incorporates diverse elements of ethnicity, technology, art and urban life.

Does it say anywhere in this definition that in order to embrace the cultural definition of ‘hip hop,’ one must wear an upside-down visor? Just because they’re minorities does not mean they’ve neglected to grasp the function of the visor. But, it’s good for a laugh, isn’t it? Way to be awesome.
My favorites in the photo are obviously the two pimp males floating in the sea of underdeveloped ladies. I also enjoy the ‘street’ hand motion, courtesy of the chick in the wife beater. What a slut! Don’t alter that gesture too much or someone will think you’re asking for THE SHOCKER. Hopefully these kids received a tutorial in how to spell the world “blood” using only their fingers. That should make for a hilarious trip to Los Angeles, eh?
Also, who posed pink velour in the front like that? She has to be, like, seven years old. But, then again, black people are loose and lazy. Good call.
Like, what did the letter home to the parents who dressed these kids that morning say?
Dear Parents,
Your children will be participating in a hip-hop themed math-a-thon. Please dress them according to any stereotype you can possibly think regarding the hip-hop theme (i.e. what black people listen to). Some examples are: headwear of any kind, camoflage-patterned clothing (even though you can’t see black people in the dark, anyway!) and sports jerseys (because all black people are good at football and basketball). Make sure not to tell them any factual information regarding the movement or about these people who are so different from us. Let’s just have some good old, blind fun with this one, parents!
Thanks, New Albany School District

The gays discovered that my empty-desk-against-a-wall situation provides a good opportunity to stretch one’s lower back. Joey is gesturing, and Greg is feeling the ecstacy of it all. (I, for the record, did not stretch.)

This is my desk. Notice the Rufus Wainwright poster (gay), the Cedars poster (sort of gay), the picture of me making out with Alyson (gay), the picture of me, Jessica and Nick at my mom’s wedding (to a man, so not gay), and my computer (adaptable to many situations).

This is the corner of my office, where there is a shelf of crap and a bookshelf that I haven’t put things on yet. Notice the red, bordello-esque wall. My office also doubles as a sex den.

This is gay porn. We have a shelf-full of it. These two are titled “Teacher’s Pet” and “Graffiti.” I have casually tossed them on my desk as decoration. I was feeling left out.

Tags: work | gay