deep in the ocean, there lies a wave for you

My friend alerted me to this delicious nugget of joy, courtesy of the New Albany school district in Ohio.

Hip Hop Math-A-Thon Showcases Students’ Math Skills and Adds Books to School Libraries
Math-A-Thon is an academic fundraiser that allows all students in Grades K-5 the opportunity to show off their math skills and earn pledges for their school at the same time. Teachers and students are teaming up to kick off this year’s Math-A-Thon through a fun school video production.

During the week of February 19th, all K-5 students will be asked to solve math problems appropriate for their grade level. Students will have one hour during their regularly scheduled math time in class to solve as many problems as they can. Math-A-Thon proceeds will be used to purchase books and reading-related resource materials for each classroom and building library in Grades K-5.

Aw, how sweet, right? Except for the fact that these sickeningly vanilla students are raising money for, well, themselves. But at least the activity is academic and the kids aren’t competing for like, a pizza party. And the hip-hop theme? Sure, maybe, since that’s what the kids are listening to these days, it’ll encourage them to really up their performance.

But the plot thickens with the accompanying photo:

After my initial reaction of nonstop laughing, I have decided that this straddles the line between horrifying and overwhelmingly hilarious.
First, a definition of hip-hop:
Hip Hop (also spelled hip-hop or hiphop) is both a music genre and a cultural movement developed in New York starting in the 1970s, predominantly by African Americans and Latinos. Since first emerging in New York City in the 1970s, hip hop has grown to encompass an entire lifestyle that consistently incorporates diverse elements of ethnicity, technology, art and urban life.

Does it say anywhere in this definition that in order to embrace the cultural definition of ‘hip hop,’ one must wear an upside-down visor? Just because they’re minorities does not mean they’ve neglected to grasp the function of the visor. But, it’s good for a laugh, isn’t it? Way to be awesome.
My favorites in the photo are obviously the two pimp males floating in the sea of underdeveloped ladies. I also enjoy the ‘street’ hand motion, courtesy of the chick in the wife beater. What a slut! Don’t alter that gesture too much or someone will think you’re asking for THE SHOCKER. Hopefully these kids received a tutorial in how to spell the world “blood” using only their fingers. That should make for a hilarious trip to Los Angeles, eh?
Also, who posed pink velour in the front like that? She has to be, like, seven years old. But, then again, black people are loose and lazy. Good call.
Like, what did the letter home to the parents who dressed these kids that morning say?
Dear Parents,
Your children will be participating in a hip-hop themed math-a-thon. Please dress them according to any stereotype you can possibly think regarding the hip-hop theme (i.e. what black people listen to). Some examples are: headwear of any kind, camoflage-patterned clothing (even though you can’t see black people in the dark, anyway!) and sports jerseys (because all black people are good at football and basketball). Make sure not to tell them any factual information regarding the movement or about these people who are so different from us. Let’s just have some good old, blind fun with this one, parents!
Thanks, New Albany School District