deep in the ocean, there lies a wave for you

So, in the today’s delicious edition of my hometown pape, the Pottsville Republican (charming name, eh?), there was a cheesy piece titled “Some find ‘different’ way to pop the question.” I’m unsure as to why they needed to put ‘different’ in quotes, but read on! Also, remember that this is the paper that puts the winner of the pierogie-eating contest on the front cover.

The lead: “Do you think lawyers never act impulsively? Think again.”
Then it goes on to tote the charming and crazy antics of some d-bag Yuengling-fed attorneys and how they tricked some NEPA socialities into marrying them.

When you get to the middle of the story, however, THIS DELIGHTFUL GEM APPEARS:
“The marriage bid of mortgage consultant Guy ‘Bill’ Bryan, Orwigsburg, to Patricia ‘Trish’ Lantry was even more complex.

His proposal entailed hiring an advertising company to release a parachute from the deck of a boat while he and Trish were on a dolphin cruise aboard a nearby ship. Timing was critical. The advertising boat had to be in the vicinity of the cruise ship at just the right moment to launch the parachute, from whose cord flew a banner bearing the message, ’1 if by land, 2 if by sea, Trish, will you marry me?’

The boat and the cruise ship approached each other at the appointed time, but by then the sky had darkened, fog had rolled in and a hard rain had begun to fall. Bill began to give up hope Trish would even see the proposal when the skies cleared for a short time. He fell to his knees as she read the message on the banner and extended the engagement ring. Crew and passengers extended their best wishes after she accepted the proposal.”

Also, it’s ‘Triz,’ not ‘Trish.’ Grandma Bryan is going to be so confused.