deep in the ocean, there lies a wave for you

I started working at the Washington Blade in May 2007 when they snatched me up from AOL based on a recommendation from Brian Moylan (who now blogs for Gawker and used to work with me at the 9:30 Club). All I did at first was search the Internet for gay news and sometimes write a blog asserting my opinion and taking down the fundies. I had my own office and ate at Sparky’s every day. It was a pretty sweet deal. 

We never had direct deposit for our paychecks, and on payday, they waited until 3 p.m. to hand out the goods. Everyone was always hopeful, though, and we kept having Christmas parties and Best of Gay DC parties and chugging along. Eventually we moved to the National Press Building — a move which, at the time, seemed like an indicator that things were looking up. It made me feel official to be downtown in an office not plagued by roaches and their sticky traps, but I had kind of liked the dingy feeling of the U St. location. 

People began to leave — including my beloved, former arts editor Greg Marzullo and my friend Katie Volin. We never really filled their spots. We started to lay people off. My duties as “online editor” tripled — I was now building galleries and uploading the entire print edition of the paper to the site. I was reporting and writing the music column. And all without a pay increase, but at least my days were full.

When Clark became sick, the Blade, for all my gripes, was more understanding than I could have ever hoped. I was pleased because I am one of the only straight people to have been recently employed by the Blade. But they understood that Clark and I weren’t married. The lack of that piece of paper wasn’t going to get in the way of what he needed, and what I in turn had to do to take care of those needs.

I worked from home for 3 – 4 weeks, and then didn’t work at all for 2 months. And they paid me the whole time. People gave up their vacation days for me. When I came back, people left me alone when they sensed that’s what I needed, but comforted me when I held out my arms for them. There was a collage hanging above my desk to welcome me back made of photos from our parties and Pride. 

The late and bounced paychecks over the past few months stressed me out to no end. I was actively looking for other work. But I can’t believe the whole thing is gone. I can’t believe this has been my year.