I was running for a bit, and then I stopped, and now I’m trying to run again. I love to do it, but only because of the playlists that accompany the task. Mine is getting a little old, and admittedly includes the following:
and, obvs:
HELP.
Archive for March, 2010
it’s my birthday!
March 24, 2010Remember this?
Today’s a bit rough, as most big “milestone” days are now. Last year, we spent my entire birthday in the hospital at NIH. We set the date for Clark to start the treatment he never got to have, and then he had a blood transfusion that lasted until 10 p.m. When we got home, I made a quick dinner and we both passed out. The year before, we were still just post-diagnosis and still reeling from that. So it’s been a while since I’ve had a nice birthday, and I miss Clark so much today. But I had lunch with Jason, and Erie is just about to arrive from Ohio, and I’m going to dinner, and going to the Black Cat to see the Ruby Suns. I will also see a majority of the people I love today, and that’s what’s important. The sun is shining, and I got stuck in the motorcade, and it was great!
firefly
March 21, 2010
These are made from Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka and really good lemonade. They go down pretty easily and are so, so delicious.
So we drank this first round while sitting on Cella’s front stoop. She lives on the second floor of this house that also has a first floor apartment, and while we were out there, the man from the first floor left and said he was going to a bar. Everyone out on the street yesterday was so happy and smiley. A small child’s dad told us, “My son wanted me to tell you three that he thinks you look pretty.”
Twenty minutes later, we wanted to go inside to cook dinner, and we realized her housemate had locked the door behind him. Immediately, Cella thought, let’s try the back door, maybe I didn’t lock it. So we went around back, where she scaled a giant fence that’s about two cars high, and obviously, that door was locked too. Jessica and I were standing in the alley with broken glass surrounding us; I didn’t have shoes. Neither did Cella. I had my purse, so I was the only one with money and an ID. We thought for about five seconds, OK, Cella’s roommate is out of town. And one of us is going to have to go to this weird bar where her housemate is and get the key. It will probably have to be Jessica, because she’s the only one with shoes, and this is going to be so weird and awkward.
Before we could even talk about the next step, a woman yelled from the passenger seat of this white van that had been trying to turn around in the alley. “Hey, do you guys need a locksmith?” Jessica and I looked at each other and laughed, because this scene must’ve looked pretty ridiculous, and yes, we needed a locksmith REALLY badly. “Why, are you one?” we said back to her. “Uh, yeah.” So her husband got out of the car and opened the back door for us. When we tried to pay him, he said, no, I don’t want any money, just make sure to tell your friends that when they need a locksmith to call me. We each gave them both a giant hug, and then we each cried. We couldn’t believe it! It was the most wonderful, humanity-affirming thing. So that’s Steve Nejelski, mobile lock service, 202-232-6806, residential, commercial, lock-outs.
better than getting asked out on a date
March 20, 2010Today I was tabling for my volunteer job at a conference, and this adorable boy kept hanging around my table and talking to me. He was a senior in college; he must only be about 21 years old. I was confused for a bit and wondered if this guy was flirting with me. We chatted for about 15 minutes, and he said he’d be back after he went to his next workshop. He returned, and we talked some more before he leaned in and asked me, “So, what are the good gay bars around here?” Then I wrote him a list and gave him my email so we could go out together and then we hugged and then maybe I cried a little bit, I was so happy.
to read
March 18, 2010“A Small Good Thing,” which Jessie sent to me today because she thought of it and it reminded her of me. I read it, and I loved it. I want all of the sentences in my writing to be like these: “They didn’t say anything. But they seemed to feel each other’s insides now, as though the worry had made them transparent in a perfectly natural way.”
Food is such an enjoyable part of my day now. Jessica and I eat pho every chance we get, and I love having others cook for me. But when Clark was sick and dying, I didn’t think about eating at all. MomPam would shove an english muffin with peanut butter on it into my hands every morning. “EAT!” she’d say, forcefully. There were a few times that I can remember in hospice where, though I couldn’t manage to feed myself, others brought me food, and I took such comfort from eating it. Lili and Ann brought me barbeque and fried okra. On a different day, hunger struck, and all I wanted was a cheeseburger. It was the middle of the afternoon. I called my friend Basla, who is vegan, and she brought me one. And I hadn’t yet become friends with my dear Amanda, but I woke up from a nap one day to find a bag of Whole Foods groceries outside the door to Clark’s room. She’d brought me grapeleaves and frozen Annie’s and fruit. I appreciated these gestures more than I can say. “Appreciate” doesn’t even feel like the right word.
good lord
March 18, 2010This is a movie:
Not only that, but like, it’s both a movie AND a book. People can receive this story in two different ways; it’s that accessible. Point made by Jon: Greg Kinnear has fallen so far. Is this where Joel McHale will be in 10-15 years?
Addendum: Jessica and I Googled: “Does someone always die at the end of Nicholas Sparks books?” We found no real answers, but did discover a bounty of reviews for his books on GoodReads. Some samples:
Dear John (also a movie.):
“Anyhoo, the book. Typical Sparks fare – star-crossed lovers, torn apart by fate, life, what have you. I really enjoyed the interaction between John and his father a lot more than I did his relationship with Savannah, maybe because it seemed far more real. I never warmed up to Savannah, even though she was supposed to be the perfect, lovely Southern young lady. And, like SO many other reviews on here, I too thought the ending was horrid. As I was nearing the end of my audiobook, I knew exactly how it would end, but I still had another disc to go. It was seriously painful…I can get behind tragic/unrequited love stories, but this one just seemed so pointless.”
I don’t know if we really need to comment, but first: Nicholas Sparks audiobook. Two, the word “anyhoo.”
A Walk To Remember (also a movie, starring Jessica’s favorite actress):
“My all-time favorite movie turned out to be twice as good in literary form! I was thrilled to find scenes not included in the movie and descriptions that really brought you closer to the characters. Even though I already knew the storyline, I still could not stop the tears from coming. In fact, everytime I read the book, I fall in love with Landon all over again! Gosh, we’ve been having this affair for years now, it’s ridiculous.”
IS THIS REAL? MOM, DAD, UNCLE FRANK, IS THIS A JOKE?
And finally, a review of The Last Song to bring this entry full circle:
“This book has taught me to not waste time holding grudges. It taught me that the time to love people is now, and not later on when I find out something else is going on. This book was seriously inspirational, and as always Nicholas Sparks touched a soft spot with this one. He always seems to get the words right. I can only hope the movie lives up to my expectations now.”
Your expectations are obviously never very hard to meet, so the movie should do just fine. And I guess we have to read the book to learn the lessons you did, because we obviously hold a grudge against you for liking it.
i mean.
March 16, 2010If you were to guess what my favorite part of this whole thing is, what would you guess? You’d be right to say ETHAN HAWKE.
things i’ve watched more than once this week
March 15, 2010The Morning Benders and the Echo Chamber Orchestra – “Excuses” – I’ve watched this video so many times. I had a stressful night at work and just played it in the background, over and over, to calm myself.
My favorite track on Teen Dream keeps changing. This week it’s “Take Care”:
I mean, duh:
Also Jessica introduced me to what my life’s been missing:
black becomes light
March 12, 2010Advice I took today: To soak it up and put a little peace in your pocket. Exactly what I did for about an hour, pre-interview.
I got off the elevator, and there was a room with some old works, and I hurried past them because I could already see what was waiting ahead. I did a lap and then sat on the bench and all I could hear was stillness punctuated by my own breath in my ears. The only movement in the room was happening in the space between my belly and my my chest – this rise and fall of excitement and emotion. Alone at the installation on a Thursday at 2 p.m. is the only way to see this. And I’m cool with the fact that the security guard saw me cry.
