birthdays are terribleDecember 20, 2011
It’s Clark’s birthday. Or rather, since he has not aged, Clark was born 36 years ago today. I was all set to be fine when I woke up this morning, but I have, admittedly, cried a few times today.
I’m crying for strange reasons, though. Like how I feel differently now than I ever anticipated. I feel guilty for not having a gathering of friends planned for tonight like I did the past two years. For not wanting to acknowledge it publicly (besides in this blog post) – I think I posted something on Facebook or Twitter last year – or talk about it at all, really. I’m fine; I can handle myself. Very few of my closest friends have even mentioned anything to me about it, which may have made me angry or anxious last year, but this year I am glad. I’m struggling with being fine, I think. Who could have predicted that?